Friday, 26 July 2013

My top 10 Richard Laymon novels

My small Richard Laymon Collection.
I'm a big Richard Laymon fan. I've read more than half of his novels and I look forward to devouring the rest. Here's my top 10 list so far. Warning: book impressions contain spoilers.

The book follows three 16-year olds on an idle summer day. Dwight, Slim and Rusty find fliers for an exotic vampire show coming to their town. The show features Valeria, the world's only living captured vampire. Slim, a feisty tomboy, is attracted to Dwight. Rusty, overweight and perverse, is tired of screwing his younger sister and dreams of nailing Valeria. Will he succeed? The book is a beautiful blend of Bradbury`s Something Wicked This Way Comes and Twain`s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. It also echoes Stephen King`s It. However, the final product bears the mark of its author, the master of the grotesque, the supreme perv, the world`s sickest writer, Richard Laymon.

2. "Savage" 

Trevor Bentley, a courageous lad from London, chases Jack the Ripper from Whitechapel to the Wild West. The notorious murdered decides to go to America in order to learn torture techniques from the natives. Following the killer's blood trail, Trevor meets Jesse, a wild tomboy. The love-story is very romantic, as romantic as you can find in a champion of splatterpunk. But will Jesse end up getting raped and carved up by Jack the Ripper? Or will he just scalp her, cut off her tits and let her go? 

3. "Funland" 

This novel has so many things going for it. It`s about teenagers torturing hobos. It`s about mutants and circus freaks. Tanya`s not a happy camper. He got raped by three hobos, some of the many crawling around the Funland Amusement Park. As if that humiliation wasn`t enough, the rapists also cut her up and pissed on her. Now, Tanya is the leader of a group of youngsters who fight the trolls. They torture and kill hobos under the cover of night. But her quest for revenge takes beautiful Tanya and her crew into Jasper Dunn`s lair. The old perv owns Funhouse and Jasper`s Oddities -- a place crowded with freaks of nature like two-headed people and gigantic spiders and such. Is Tanya going to survive or will she get stung again? Will Jasper Dunn manage to eat her up?

4. "Resurrection Dreams" 

A masterpiece with an unforgettable character, Melvin Dodds. Melvin was the biggest creep in Ellsworth High. For a science project, he dug up a girl's fresh body and attempted to bring it back to life with the aid of a battery car. The experiment failed, but his obsession didn't stop. Back from the loony bin, Melvin gives black magic a shot. And it works. The nurse he recently killed is brought back to life. She becomes his sex slave. The only downside is that she is too ferocious in bed; she bites real hard. She's also very needy and annoying. Melvin considers getting rid of her and of other zombies he animated for his own selfish and twisted purposes. But how can you kill what is already dead?

5. "Blood Games"

Five young women, best friends since college, meet every year in search of fun and thrills. This year is Helen`s turn to choose a location for their reunion. Slightly sick and twisted, Helen chooses the Totem Pole Lodge, a deserted resort deep in the woods. Years ago, many people had died there under bizarre circumstances. Something to do with a tribe of cannibals. Needless to say, Helen`s choice proves disastrous.

6. "Come out, tonight" 

Another legendary character, Toby Bones. Toby has the hots for his English teacher, Sherry Gates. But he doesn't stop at masturbating over her, like a normal teen would. Oh, no! That's not how Toby does things! No way! What he does is he kill and eats parts of Sherry`s boyfriend, poor Duane, and then rapes, beats and bites Sherry savagely, leaving her for dead in the wilds. But you know what? Even that doesn`t satisfy Toby`s primal needs. Next, he decides to go after Sherry`s younger sister, Brenda, who is closer to his age and probably tighter. Hopefully a virgin. 

 7. "Body Rides" 

In exchange for (temporarily) saving a woman's life, Neal receives a special bracelet. A bracelet which enables its owner to leave his body and travel inside other people's minds. This opens a world of possibilities for Neal. Having sex with someone while you are in their mind. Letting someone else ride your body. Visiting random people just to see what's it like to be them. You know, kinda like that movie Being John Malkovich. 
There are some problems though: what if your host dies while you are inside? Will you get trapped into their dead body like in a cage for all eternity? Or what if someone kills you while you're away on a body ride? Can you came back? Or will you just wonder around aimlessly? Or what if someone wants to kill you but you don't remember where you put your fucking bracelet?

8. "Darkness, Tell Us"

Angela isn't a happy camper. Growing up, she was repeatedly raped and tortured by her step-dad and step-brothers.The men used to live in a van, driving around in search of new sexual extreme adventures. You know, just living the American Dream. Now, having escaped her tormentors, Angela needs to sell her body to get through college. Since tuition and housing are not cheap, she basically sells herself into slavery. Her landlord, a foul-mouthed, hunchbacked, stinky old men, likes to tie her up naked in the closet and whip her now and again, when tired of screwing her on the dirty mattress in her, otherwise empty, room. To her surprise, Angela's dead mother gets in contact with her and some of her college friends, through a Ouija board. By promising them access to a lost treasure, the ghost facilitates Angela's revenge.  


 9. "Flesh"

 A slimy, slithering ....thing arrived in town, probably from outer space. It has dull eyes and a hideous mouth. It likes to burrow into your brain and turn you into a beast, a killer, a rapist, a new Ted Bundy. 'Nuff Said! 

10. "Cuts" 

Albert Prince doesn`t know how to fuck a woman. What he does is he cuts her belly with a knife, and sticks himself in the wound. Then he pumps the bloody hole till he's done. Will Albert find out how sex really works? And how many women will get mangled in the process?


  1. Since writing this top 10, I've read Laymon's "Night in the Lonesome October." This masterpiece should be in top five, which would leave "Cuts" out of the top. "Cuts" still has a significant emotional value for me, it being my first encounter with Laymon.

  2. Night in Lonesome October is so bizarrely original that it must ascend to the top of not only Richards novels but all horror novel lists. One to read over and over.

  3. Night in the Lonesome October is a wonderful treat of a novel. Bizarrely original and a must read each October for me. My copy is in tatters.